Fan Commentary

The Privilege of Eavesdropping

by Grandstand Bob

His fire extinguisher went off in his car during the race. You could hear that on the MRN or ESPN broadcast, but it definitely wasn’t as entertaining as hearing it directly from Jimmy Spencer, via a scanner in the stands.

The cursed extinguisher had coated the interior of Spencer’s car, including Jimmy himself, and he was having a hell of a time trying to see, let alone drive. And, as you can probably imagine, Jimmy wasn’t holding back his colorful language. If there had been a sailor around, he would have cowered in fear.

Situations like this make it an absolute necessity to tote your scanner to a race. There is no better way to get behind the scenes and truly understand what’s happening on the track.

As anyone who has ever attended a race will tell you, one of the advantages over watching it on TV is that you can pick which battles you want to follow. While the TV cameras seem to follow Jeff Gordon and the leaders around, when you are at the track, you can watch cars in the back battle it out. And, if you have a scanner, you can hear what they think about each other, and occasionally, each other’s mothers.

Obviously, the drivers don’t communicate directly with each other, save the occasional hand gesture. Most communication goes from the driver to his spotter, from that spotter to another driver’s spotter, and then to the other driver. Such was the case when I tuned into an interesting exchange during a Charlotte race.

I won’t use the drivers’ names, because I don’t think that it’s fair to hold them accountable for what they say during the heat of the battle. I sure wouldn’t want anyone taping me when I’m driving through rush-hour traffic. Plus, I don’t want drivers to hold back, because they know that fans and sponsors might be listening. It’s a tremendous privilege to be able to listen to these communications.

That said, there was a caution at a Charlotte race, and one driver was trying like hell to get his lap back. Instead of letting him, the leader sped under the yellow and kept his nemesis a lap back. As you can imagine, that move wasn’t popular with the trailing driver. The resulting interchange, which I caught by bouncing between both drivers’ frequencies, went something like this.

Lapped driver: What the hell was that? Tell that (anus) that I won’t forget that!

Lead driver’s spotter: The ## car is upset that you didn’t let him get his lap back.

Lead driver: Tell that (one who copulates with one’s mother) to remember Pocono.

Many times, radio exchanges help you fill in the blanks when you miss action on the track. That was the case when I tuned into Dale, Jr. at a recent Rockingham race. I had noticed him closely tailing another car all around the track – not trying to pass him, just trying to irritate him.

Junior was mostly silent, but he did indicate that he was making a point. Shortly thereafter, NASCAR communicated to him that his point was made and that it was time to back off. His crew communicated this to him, and he backed off.

Scanner enthusiasts will tell you that scanning during a race isn’t always full of scintillating eavesdropping, because many drivers don’t say a whole lot, except how to tune the car during stops, which is also interesting. However, you can increase your odds of getting something juicy, by listening to drivers known for colorful commentary and watching for duels around the track.

It should come as no surprise that one of the most colorful of drivers is Michael Waltrip. Michael is a competitor, but he is also a realist and capable of laughing at himself. After an afternoon of skating along the wall at Rockingham, he finally hit it. His evaluation of the situation: “I’m such a dumbass.”

It’s this brutal honesty that makes scanners as popular as they are at the track. If you have tuned into similar exchanges, please write me with the details. I would like to write a future column dedicated to funny things heard at the track. You can reach me at bob@arsracing.com.

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note: This opinions expressed in this column are those of writer and do not necessarily reflect the opinions or positions of ARS Racing Outlet or its parent company, amI, Inc.