Fan Commentary

Not Coming Soon . . . A Movie We Want to See

by Grandstand Bob

In last week’s column, I talked about how I thought Britney Spears was a good choice for a NASCAR movie. Yeah, I really said that, and two weeks later, I still believe that. For a couple of very good reasons, I believe that it will be easier to watch Britney Spears than to listen to her.

Again, beyond those reasons, Britney appeals to the newer generation of stock car fans which NASCAR is courting. These people would probably run over Cale Yarborough to get Larry McReynolds’ autograph, and they aren’t bothered by the inevitable death of legendary tracks. They’re lured by the “sexy” action and actors currently on the circuit. And, if Britney is nothing else, she is sexy.

On the other hand are NASCAR’s traditionalists who would have scoffed at the idea of Britney Spears in a NASCAR movie just three years ago, but after the new TV deal, cooler bans, seating licenses and stock cars that are anything but, Britney comes at no surprise. It is this group that I asked to e-mail me ideas for a movie that would appeal to traditionalists.

The responses I received varied from futuristic to nostalgic. On the futurist side, one reader said that Britney should play a female driver who goes after Jeff Gordon, since he is now Brooke-free. In an ironic sense of justice, this same reader would like to see Junie Donlavey play Britney’s dad.

Another version offered by this reader was to base the movie on a fantasy séance through which Tim Richmond, Curtis Turner, Fireball Roberts, etc. are resurrected. Can you imagine the sponsorship problems and trips to the big red trailer?

On the other end of the spectrum, one reader indicated that he would like to see a film about the drivers' strike at the initial Talladega race. Don’t look for NASCAR sanctioning on such a seditious act, but it would provide an interesting retrospective on the way that the drivers used to drive the sport.

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Also in retrospect, several readers would like to see biographical movies made on characters like Tim Richmond, Alan Kulwicki, Davey Allison and Dale Earnhardt. Count me among this group. Some of these stories are true “rags-to-riches,” which would lend themselves to uplifting plots.

That’s not to say that there wouldn’t be difficulties. Richmond’s, to say the very least, would be more than a little controversial, if it dealt with his entire life, which it should to maintain integrity. A little controversy is usually a good thing for a movie.

However, controversy, ironically enough, is something from which NASCAR tries to distance itself. Richmond, though colorful and one of the most talented and exciting drivers ever, never fit into the NASCAR mold, and what he represented is far from the image NASCAR tries very hard to project today. Which brings me to my two final points.

It would be extremely difficult to make a stock car racing movie without the cooperation of NASCAR, which means that it’s going to have to have NASCAR’s stamp of approval. And we all know what that means. We’ll see what NASCAR damned well intended for us to see – no more and no less.

You could try to go around the NASCAR regime by carefully staging racing action devoid of NASCAR insignia or any other likenesses which would trigger a stampede of lawyers. Bruton Smith might have a track or two he’d be willing to let you use, but it would be difficult to simulate the excitement and visual stimulation of an actual event.

If you happened to succeed in negotiating the NASCAR minefield, you would have to sell Left Coast executives on the value of a stock car movie. While California is home to a lot of really good people, the Hollywood decision-makers have about as much in common with NASCAR fans, as I have in common with Jesse Jackson. We’re still the Dukes of Hazzard to many of this group.

That said, friends, don’t look for a movie that appeals to NASCAR traditionalists anytime soon. The best we’re going to be able to do is Britney Spears. That's why they invented mute and fast-forward buttons.

Grandstand Bob Profile and Past Columns

note: This opinions expressed in this column are those of writer and do not necessarily reflect the opinions or positions of ARS Racing Outlet or its parent company, amI, Inc.